Not What I Want-But What Do You Want?

Mark 14:38 (MSG)

"Papa, Father-You can-can't You? Get Me out of this. Take this cup away from Me. But please, not what I want-what do You want?"

This is what Jesus said when He was in Gethsemane before His betrayal. I try to imagine Jesus' situation during that moment-it must very very hard until Jesus Himself asked our Abba Father if possible to take away that heaviness from Him. Yet..one thing that really amazed me was when at the end of it Jesus said this:

"But please, Not what I want-what do You want?

For me personally..especially when it comes to struggles,decision and even trial...it will never be easy to say the same thing like what Jesus did in Gethsemane. How many of us really have that courage to tell our Abba Father:
"Daddy..not what I want but what do You want- in my life and for my future?"
Me still in process of not only telling this to Daddy but also learn to trust and obey Him..its really hard.
I think this year is the hardest year for me compared to other years..maybe because this year I finally entrusted Daddy my future. and because of that many times I cried out before Him-asking His direction and guidance for the next step and the hardest part was when I can't see nothing nor hear anything from Him. During this period I always get tempted to just come back to my own planning but just at the right time Daddy will again remind me to continue trusting Him.

Similar but not the same?
I remembered last Friday after our PERKEB prayer meeting and PC while me and Chef on the way back to my hostel..suddenly she gave me one pencil case-exactly like mine but its wasn't mine! It was someone else that left at the lecture hall where we had our prayer meeting earlier. I just can't stop laughing at her even after she returned the pencil case.

From this very simple situation..Daddy suddenly remind me about similar but not the same-His planning vs my planning. It might be similar but not the same and Daddy wants exactly the same-not just similar.
Somehow I always think that my decision and action is what Daddy really wants me to do but when I sit and think again..I was wrong at some point where I let my own understanding and logic to take place my head and my heart. and without realizing that I drifted away from His plan.

I printed this: NOT WHAT I WANT BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT and put in my purse with some pictures (well visual person love to do this). Why? One of my way to remind myself everyday that everything I do in my life is not about me but its all about Him alone even though I don't understand.
Dare to move in His fully guidance in your life today? As what Sis Kim Cheng said during NC 2010,

"Our God is full with surprises"

Yes He is..as long as we continue to walk in His ways and hold fast to Him-you will never regret that yo have taken the way-to follow Him!