Gentle Reminder from Daddy

"When i feel that I am alone,God gentle reminds me of His unfailing love,my beloved family and yeah my sampat friends too hahah..then i told my self I am not alone lah"

"When I feel that I am so hopeless, again God reminds me of what He has done in my life where He never fails to fulfill His promises..and now i put back my trust in Him"

"When I feel so sad and super down and i can't feel God is with me..God strengthens me by putting those lovely people around me"

See when we choose to walk with our beloved Daddy..there is nothing can stop you to thank Him for His abundant love.
Comel lah Daddy ni hihihi

AMAZED!

Lats two days i just found out that my loan money will be bank in into my account on july. Honestly i was so so hopeless and i told God that why must this happen this year..my new year. I expected more blessings and new things will happen but it seems that one problem to another confront me since the end of last year. but the Holy Spirit keep on telling..WAIT PATIENTLY!

you know something inn this time of troubles..in my relationship..my studies and even my financial i realize that God never leave me alone even though sometimes i doubting God..but yeah He really cares for what i face now in this situation.Remember i shared in my previous post;

"When we think it seems that God doesn't care with our situation and problem actually He is preparing something for us..more than what we imagine and expect He will do for us"

When i found out about my loan money one word came up in my heart-BERSYUKURLAH-BE GRATEFUL. I was telling God..i know how to be grateful but seriously this is hard situation to be grateful.really!But really I clearly remember what my pastor said about it, even though you don't get anything yet express your gratitude to God..thank Him for His blessings..and yeah i did it.sounds crazy but I choose o trust God. I pray and told my sister about that. She said she will discuss that with my parents..honestly i was worried because i need money to pay for my laptop this monday.i told my friend and ask her to help in prayer.and thank God that i have such a wonderful friends around me:)

so this morning my mama call up but i was in the class. so she call me again after my class. today is her birthday!i didn't mention anything about my loan money because i know my sister will settle that for me.but..suddenly mama said,papa will bank in the money today.Guess what...the amount was more than what i imagine. i was so so amaze with what God has done today! see..if we choose to trust and wait patiently in Him..He will never disappointing us even in small thing.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR THE MIRACLE HAHAH

PERTOLONGAN TAK TERDUGA

Haluuu
I was arranging my stuff today and suddenly I saw our church bulletin. I forget to read it during our sunday service since i was helping in the sunday school.
so while i was reading the front page of the bulletin..something really caught my heart.
it says:

"Ketika kita merasa tersepit oleh persoalan hidup dan Tuhan seakan tidak peduli, ternyata Dia sedang meniapkan pertolongan yang tak terduga dan lebih baik dari yang kita harapkan"

very simple yet i was so blessed with it. so friends, no matter how bad our situation is don't let it stopping us to continue believing Him!

God's Time

Have you ever been in a situation that makes you really don't know what to do.I've been in that situation.
When i read Psalms 27:11,
"Teach me how to live O Lord.."
i was asking myself do i really allowed God to teach me and correct me?
and today this question came up:
"do i really trust the Lord?"
one question to another starting to came into my mind when i was reading
1 Kings 11:38
"if you will listen to all that I command you, and will walk in My ways, and do what is right in My eyes by keeping My statutes and My commandments..I will be with you"

Listening to His command is not really hard but to make sure we are walking in His ways..we have and need to know Him more!its everyday process.To trust God has prepared something for you in the future, that trust cannot built within 1 hour nor 1 day.we have to give God 100% access in every aspects of our life to teach, to guide and to lead us in His ways.i am going through all these..and i believe the same thing happen to you.

so after you allowed God to teach and take over yourlife..what will you do when you are in a situation which require you to make a hard and hard decision..asking God and pray that is right. but when seems no answer from God what will you do?
let me share with you something,i been in this situation. it takes me 5 days to pray hard about it yet still no answer. and i watch one video saying,
"If you are not heard God speaking out of that specific situation,its because you are not suppose to make decision in that moment"
is that true? why God wants us to wait? its very simple..God has something better for you and me in His perfect time..wait patiently.

PSALMS 37:7
"Be still before the Lord and WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM"

sometimes i failed to do this..i want the answer now when i faced problem..i want God to answer me without making me waiting for Him. but now..i told myself..wait patiently and you will never regret.

and yeah now i know what God wants me to do..come back for my people to answer my calling there.how about you? have you been asking and waiting for God? don't rush..be still.He will lead you in His ways just like how He did to me.

Jesus loves you all beloved!

Understanding God's calling??

hahha its 2011 :)
We celebrate New Year in church and Ps.David shared to us Romans 12:1-5.
Its about we being united and partnership with God by having close relationship with Him through His Word and prayer with consistency! and after that we wrote our vision for 2011. So i wrote mine,to go deeper in His Word and consistent in prayer.This is the year I think..urmmm 100% sure hahah..that I really have to move to the next level in my relationship with God. I really want to give the best not only in serving God but also in my study.

When i said about getting closer to God..its something to do with listening to His instructions clearly. Last month during NC i remember i wrote a covenant before God:
"Dear Lord, whatever You ask me to do,wherever You send me to and whenever You want me to go..I am willing."
I tell you when I wrote this what was in my mind is i just want to obey Him in every aspect of my life without giving excuses to God without expecting anything. and 1 week after that i received a call regarding youth prayer gathering. I was so excited for that because it was in my prayer for so long to join youth prayer gathering to reach out the youth in Malaysia.For me i just love being with youth maybe because most my life i grown up with my youth in our Christian Fellowship.I told God about that and just thank Him for the opportunity.
After i came back from break I met the person in charge of the youth prayer gathering. He explained everything to me and he also talked about the commitment i have to make if i join them. As a human for me that commitment is very hard for me to accept but when i came back to my room something happen. I just can't understand what happen to me..it seems so heavy..the burden to reach out the young generation. and i remember the covenant that i made during NC.Lord..could it be..???
I fast and pray about that matter but i just not sure about what should i do. but this morning when i listened to one sermon, the pastor said something that really caught my mind:
"LISTEN TO GOD'S CALL.DON'T LIMIT GOD."
and the pastor asked the audience to follow him in one prayer and yeah i followed too. the prayer was very very simple.
"FOR THE GLORY OF GOD AND SOULS OF MAN, SEND ME O LORD!"

I just can't control myself and i told God..show me the right way and the right decision for this matter. Its not gonna be easy for me, maybe i have to sacrifice lots things..i don't know.

"Daddy,help me to understand Your will and be sensitive to Your wills and willing to obeys You. In Jesus' name.Amen"

2010

I am 22 years old this year and another 1day I have to say good bye to my lovely number 22. Actually I don't really like number 23..but do not know why haha.

2010..
I just want to thank God this wonderful year-full of surprises, my year of healing and restoration,my lovely year. Year 2010 is the best year at this moment. Many things happen that i don't expect but God allowed that to happen my own good. Some happy and yeah at the other side its hurtful.

JANUARY 2010
NO TURNING BACK
even sometimes I was so tempted to come back to the old bad lifestyle but the Holy Spirit keep on reminding me to stand firm and not turning back.

COMMITMENT?
I just can't believe that I start it again to give commitment. A bit scared of failure but I just go on..yet it was my happiest month ever haha!

FEBRUARY 2010
GIVING UP
Yeah I almost giving up..so early huh?
but Jeremiah 17:7 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD "strengthen me and wake me up again :)

MARCH 2010
NEW NERNNY
God healed me and restore my life and my soul back..Thank God for enable me to accept and forgive myself and others as well. Always remember "Keterbukaan adalah awal dari pemulihan"


APRIL 2010
GOD'S PLAN
I have my own plan in my head for my future even for my career. Even though I always said depend on God but actually I didn't really do. That was bad! So that month I was thinking so hard what I really really wanna to be and what I really wanna do in the future and thank God for changing my heart.Since that day I started to trust God to guide me in this journey and surrender my plan into His hand.


MAY 2010
LOVE
I am in love hahahaha.yeah with sign language during my pre-practicum. That was very very memorable moment which I will never forget the rest of my life.Many things made me smile during this month..just so happy actually.

JUNE 2010
REMINDER
Dr.Chealsea reminded me again about my responsibilities upon this nation..wow am I the new Prime Minister.hahha I don't hope so..but my responsibility is to keep on praying for this nation until God sent His revival upon this nation. PRAY-GOD'S WORD-HIGH DISCIPLINE!

STOP
Something I almost wanna do but thank God for my friend who remind me.
"Don't start-Stop. Forget it and come back to the Lord". Thank You Jesus!


JULY 2010
GO FORWARD
Philippians 3:13,one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.
I tell the truth and thank God for accepting me for who I am.

BIRTHDAY!
Hahah finally for the first time I celebrated birthday with Sardine Cake haha. Thank to my Perkebians family for supporting me. Love you all!

GIVING UP AGAIN?
I don't know but there is one time during that month I feel that I want to stop everything because I am so tired-very tired!But someone told me to stay strong because God doesn't want me to give up and for the people around me.

AUGUST 2010
SELF-CONTROL
Have you ever feel that you are being unloved by someone..that was what happened to me. Weirdo Nernny haha. But DADDY told me one thing that I should learn to appreciate the people around me no matter what they are doing..so yeah I just listen and do lah hehe. I have to learn to control my self and rely upon God..in other word-I NEED GOD MORE!

SEPTEMBER 2010
REMAIN HOLY AND PURE BEFORE GOD
I think that month was the month of holiness hahha because God remain me not only through my devotion but also through my friends. I have to remain holy and pure especially in my relationship until the day come. Sometimes hard but I choose to surrender to God and not compromising!

OCTOBER 2010
TRUST GOD
God worked miraculous in my financial and yeah I learn to trust Him more and forgetting my other so called back up plan if God didn't answer my prayer haha. Not only that but God restored my relationship with one of my close friend where we actually having problem.


NOVEMBER 2010
FORGIVING
Hhahaha yeah i settle one of my problem for not forgiving my parents..and for the first time I call them and ask for forgiveness.remember :AKU SAYANG KAU"...that was awesome God!

DECEMBER 2010
SURPRISES
Many things surprised me when God taught me many new things and bring me to many places and also meeting new people. I was amazed by God for giving me chance and courageous to all those things that happening. I made some decisions as well which quite hard for me but I think I just have to do that until the right time come. My friend ask me when but I answered her back that i don't know. I watch one movie last night and what really captured me was about commitment;Don't give your heart to anyone until you are ready for a commitment. Otherwise you will hurt that person or even yourself.

So yeah..I think that was what happen to me throughout this year. One thing I really wanna do in my spiritual journey is KEEP ON TRUSTING AND OBEYING GOD.


“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10)

So friends..keep moving and don't let fear stops you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!
Jesus Loves You!!!

CPR-NC-TEENSTREET-KUDAT hahahha awesome journey!

hohohohoho Merry Christmas everyone.yeah..finally I am back after 1 month break.

Second week after our semester break started we had CPR at Selangor dam..very nice place.

wonderful view!!!

hahah here we are 1 Family!

What we did during the CPR was discussing and also planning for this semester activities in PERKEB.During the CPR i learned one very special thing for me..START TO TRUST OTHERS AND DON'T CARRY YOUR BURDEN ALONE..being honest I am the type of person who very hard to ask help from others because for me my own need is not important compared to others..and because of that it makes me feel tired and sometimes lonely i guess hahah.yes I told God to give me strength but I don't really share to others about my burden..i put them all inside me.but during the CPR God really break my heart to appreciate and start trusting the people around me and share the burden with them. it was very different now when i say
"yes Lord i will trust them"
Now I realize that it was better when a group of God's people standing besides you..to carry your burdens and support you hahha.


After CPR I attended National Conference 2010 at Port Dickson.
RISK IT U-TURN!!!

So much U-turns i have to make actually after NC which i am not sure i will able to make it or not but one thing i believe is if i want to make different i have to allowed God to make changes in my life too!!that is why i have the courage to take a risk and make u-turn. i still remember what Sis Kim Cheng said during NC,
"When you say YES to God,be prepared to see His surprises!"
that's right..i don't know what will happen especially after i make some u-turns after this but i will still keep holding unto God's promises that He will never leave me alone.

after NC yeah hahha so many places i went during this semester break haha..i join Teenstreet at Miri for one week..i have to tell you this is the first camp i ever join which very creative and so much fun. it was different with the other camps i went before.maybe because the participants are mostly teenagers and they are crazy and awesome people hahah.

Even though i was a bit sick during that camp but i thank God for enables me finished that camp and learn something new.i learn something which for me very very important..it was NET..during Teenstreet we have our own Net group where we share, we support,we pray and learn together. and from there i started thinking who is in my Net group..and i started to write down some names which i really trust and close with me where i can share about everything..and yeah i put them in my Net group. for me Net group is very helpful in my spiritual growth where we have people who willing to pray and listen to you..

After Teenstreet i went back to my hometown and yeah fall sick for one week..very tired..super tired. i spent time with my family and also visited my ACF family as well. i miss them all and yeah i think my soul is still in Kudat now hahaha.
so yeah..when i looked back during the semester break i can see how God really blessed me with new friends and family..and yeah God is my very very GGOD FRIEND AND HERO..
Thank You Jesus for everything..I love You!

"SAYA SAYANG KAU"

Last week there is a lot things happen in my life when God really tested my obedience towards Him. When I have nothing and He said to me, "Nernny just go..I will go with you and provide", I made commitment to listen and obey. Yes He always with me!

We had our Champion Gathering (CG) as well on last Friday. For the past 8months after I attended CG as an Anak Bina, God is so faithful to me to stay with Him until now,Thank You Jesus.God healed and restore my soul during CG when I was Anak Bina and He did the same thing for me last Friday. We learned 5 topics..
1.Memiliki hati Bapa
2.Memiliki hati yang benar
3.Memiliki hati yang merdeka
4.Memiliki hati yang penuh Roh Kudus
5.Memiliki hati dan tubuh yang sihat
the same topics during my time as an Anak Bina but yes God is always new every morning right :).God showed me new thing which really break my heart,my ego that I always ignored.

This is the story, when I was Anak Bina during CG, God reminded me about forgiving my parents. I told God we are okey..I have no problem with papa and mama.Yet the Holy Spirirt just showed me one by one the things that actually left bitternes in my heart. I forgot them yet never forgive...it means the bitterness still in my herat!But I didn't call up my parents because I was so scared to that. What will my parents think suddenly I ask forgiveness from them..so I just leave it...
UNTIL...
last Friday the Holy Spirit reminded me again about my unsolved problem with m parents..and now more clear and specific.Let me tell you something about my parents. Since young I never have problem with my parents..so basically our relationship moved smoothly. I heard people saying when you have problem especially with your father, its difficult to see God as a Father because of our biological father's figure.I am not that close with papa..and it makes me turn to God and call Him as my perfect Father. What is the problem here? there is..I call God as my perfect Father but at the same time I can't accept papa as my father because he is just not a perfect father for me.yeah papa is not God but I ignored him in my life.I am closer with mama compared with papa. you know there is one time I ever thought that its ok to have no papa besides me because I have Perfect Father my God...i should just put my name Nernny Jesus instead of Nernny Kansuh...but God knows that is very wrong because God is love.His wants us to love one another..and what am I doing with my papa????instead of accepting him...I ignored him!

I read this verse;
"He will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers"
Malachi 4:6

During that session in CG I cried a lot..I told God "sorry for treating papa so badly..forgive me" and God asked me to call papa and ask forgiveness...and actually because I have no strength to do that I postponed until Monday. I scared if I cried when I call papa..embarrassing bah hahah.The Holy Spirit is my Good Reminder all the time until I called papa.I called papa first but they were having dinner so I said I will return call later. and the second time I call I didn't call papa but I call mama haha. I talked with mama and also ask forgiveness from her and release forgiveness as well...and...now here it goes..I asked mama to pass the phone to papa. I really don't know what to say..and yeah the words come out from my mouth..
"Papa,saya mau minta maaf ni semua salah silap saya. Saya pun mau kasi maaf kau. O ya ada lagi..SAYA SAYANG KAU!"
It was very short conversation with papa but I tell you the joy within me was indescribable!..I felt so happy and if can I want to go back that moment and hug papa and mama.and that was my first time to tell papa and mama "SAYA SAYANG KAU!"...I felt so free and no burden in my heart anymore..i sms my frinds to tell them how happy am I..

Saya Sayang Papa dan Mama saya:)

Friends..I don't know what is the condition between you and your parents..maybe your siblings..but as I choose to obey and trust God..I urge you to do the same thing. Do not postponed it until it too late..CHOOSE TO FORGIVE AND FORGET!
I love this statement during CG;
"KEPAHITAN adalah PILIHAN dan Keputusan kita sendiri dan bukan kerana akibat situasi atau korban perbuatan orang lain.TETAPI PENGAMPUNAN adalah PERINTAH TUHAN dan bukannya pilihan.Setiap kali anda disakiti oleh orang lain,terus buang kepahitan itu. Jangan biarkan kepahitan itu berakar di dalam hati anda...pilihlah untuk MENGAMPUNI!"

So forgive...its not easy to do but its worth!so choose to FORGIVE today!

Be Careful

“Be careful..Take good care ya :)”
I like to use this in my last conversation even when I am texting my friend. Ya be careful..its common right. Every time when I am talking with my nonbelievers friend I have to be careful with my words..When I am surfing the internet I have to be careful with the site that I shouldn’t look at..i have to be careful in my relationship..I have to be careful with my life as well..It’s like most of the time we have be careful right.
This morning God reminded me something about BE CAREFUL.I read:

Joshua 23:6,11
"Be very strong; be careful to obey…So be very careful to love the LORD your God"

I asked God what actually I have to be careful. I think my life now is doing well..I feel great. Yet the Holy Spirit keep on telling to BE CAREFUL. Huh..am I in danger God? There are three things I have to be careful:

1. Be very Strong
I was telling God, “I think I am strong God.So what is wrong?”
God reminded me again,
Proverb 3:5. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Hahha 1-0 Nernny. You think you are strong enough..you are not. So I said..”OK Lord sorry. I am nothing without You.”
There is a lot will happened in the future even today and next which I wouldn’t know what that is. But God reminds me today to BE STRONG in HIM. In the midst of bad situation and trouble..Remain strong for the joy of the Lord is my strength! It is easy to say be strong but this few weeks God really test my faith..test that made me really depending on God and made me realize how weak am I without God. So whatever happen today and next..remember BE STRONG. BE CAREFUL that you do not lean on your own strength or others strength but God alone

2. Be careful to obey
I ask my self. “Am I obedient enough to God?..erm..I don’t think so. Being honest I always failed to obey God because of my anxiety but I learn a lot to obey Him. To follow His commands and not to turn away but FOCUS ON HIM AND OBEY HIM..always my situation and my weaknesses stop me to obey Him..but God reminds me again and again..OBEY ME! JUST OBEY ME! So I told God..ok Lord..I will obey You..really obeying You. YES LORD..I WILL OBEY!

3. Be VERY Careful to love God
Hahahahhaha I love God with all my heart really. But why God reminded me to BE VERY CAREFUL TO LOVE HIM? And the Holy Spirit starts to reveal one by one…
“My dear Nernny,
Do you really love your God?
Do you really love your God?
Do you really love your God?
Do you really love your God?
Do you really love your God?
Do you really love your God?

Sound familiar huh? And slowly the true answer came..
“My dear Lord.
Yes I really love You because…
I want Your blessings
I want to live prosper than others
I want to have what You have

Apuuuuuu..what a wrong intention I had…I love God with wrong intention ..with hidden reason..for my own pleasure! Shame on me:(
So the Holy Spirit again telling me…
“ITS NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE..IF YOU ALLOWED ME TO RESHAPE YOU..TO CHANGE AND TRANSFORM YOUR ATTITUDE AND MIND TOWARD GOD”

So remember the three things you have to BE VERY CAREFUL Nernny
BE CAREFUL TO ALWAYS BE STRONG IN THE LORD IN THE TIME OF TROUBLE
BE CAREFUL TO ALWAYS OBEY HIS COMMANDS
BE CAREFUL TO LOVE YOUR GOD WITH PURE HEART AND RIGHT INTENTION

BE CAREFUL!
BE VERY CAREFUL!
BE VERY VERY CAREFUL!

Just look through this song..it spoke to me as I also reminded myself to BE VERY CAREFUL...

Hillsong United - Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides


This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame


I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here


This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand


All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship


This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

PSALM 37

My Beloved,

PSALM 37
TRUST in the Lord
DELIGHT yourself in the Lord
COMMIT your way to the Lord
BE STILL before the Lord
WAIT PATIENTLY for the Lord
KEEP His way!

Halleluyah! Halleluyah!

GOD is my STRONGHOLD in the time of trouble
The LORD HELPS me and DELIVERS me!

all the best for exam everyone and have a blessed day!!