He is Good!

Welcome back Narnia!
I miss my blog apuu. thats right.

Let's do some updates of Narnia.
After my internship last year on June I took off one month so called-cuti panjang (long break). Then after that started my new life with Early Steps Care Centre (ESCC), an Early Intervention centre. I came in as a temporary teacher but then slowly Daddy showed me and open doors for me to remain as a permanent teacher until now.

My friends who journeying together with me in this ministry

Hows my job looks like-challenging yes! but I am thankful that each day we survive with His guidance. Thanks Daddy!  Everyday is a learning process for me personally. I remember my mentor said..to upgrade ourselves we must have a teachable and humble heart. Agreed!

Back to my ESCC stories, I learn a lot. I learn to appreciate things, I learn to be joyful and be thankful even in small achievement.

 Yes this is really true. Journeying with children with special needs opening my eyes to see every little progress of our children. From throwing things during the first day of class and after 4 months he is able to keep things! Praise the Lord. Many more testimony. And today was the best moment of my life.

She walks with one hand held but today she walks independently!

One of our children who diagnosed as cerebral palsy suddenly walk in the class by herself! I was doing my one to one teaching and I was so amazed and almost want to cry..but yeah I have to finish my session first haha. And the child that I am currently teaching was unable to do colouring..and today he holds the colour pencil and colour half of the paper I gave him. Big thanks to God.

Behind all these good news that is only one reason-God's hand is upon each of our children!

Rejoice.Pray.Give Thanks

Prayers answered

I am a teacher-haha I am a trainee teacher. if you wonder what school I am in-its a special education school-means I am teaching visual impaired students. bagus kan hahah. Well time flies sooo fast and without really realizing it we have another 8 days  in this school. If you ask me-hows my feeling..honestly I am happy because finally my practicum done and now can focus more to finish up my thesis..then after that is home sweet home yeah! But at the other hand I feel sad leaving my students where how much they gave all kinds of memories with them. Being with them during this past 4 months really taught me a lot about the roles as a special education teacher. Challenges? yeah I faced them everyday..the students made me laugh-smile but sometimes they made me lost my patience and angry with them.

I remember during my first month teaching my Math class. Honestly I lost my patience with two of my boys in the class who don't listen to my instruction. I was frustrated with these two. During the second month Daddy change my mind-"Why don'y you pray for your students more and treat them with love?"...hahahhaha I laugh. How can I treat them with love while they can't even listen to my instruction?hahah stubborn Narnia kan. well I obeyed what Daddy asked me-Pray for my students. so what I did was came early to class-praying for my students and my teaching materials too hahah. I surrender my whole lesson into Daddy's hand and trust Him that He is in control :). Daddy answered my prayers-He changes the atmosphere of my Math class. I am not saying that they fully listen to me but they do changed. They started to behave during class-do my work and the most important is I started to enjoy my teaching haha. Now looking back my journey with my students- I am thankful to have them as my students. They let me exercise my patience and the true action of love-the unconditional love. They taught me to love others even in hard situation. Obrigada Daddy!

I am thankful for my Form 4 students also for being my good friends and adik-adik rock during my class and yeah leaving them behind is very hard. not only that I have my multiple students who sometimes made me clueless how to teach them with their multiple disabilities. It took me long time to discover the suitable method to teach them. I am so happy when they started to read short sentence-do simple spelling and laugh during my class.

Daddy is my truly provider through out my teaching practicum- Th Psalm 23 is what He promised me during my first day in school.Not only that He answered my prayer to finally meet one Christian student as well. I was excited and amazed how Daddy brought us together hahah.

So my journey during my teaching practicum is not done yet. I still have 8 days with them. My simple prayer to Daddy-one more miracle before I leave-prayer answered this what I trust. Daddy answered my prayers.

Ini Kali Lah

"Ini Kali Lah"
we had our General Election last Sunday and thank God we get free air ticket to go back for the election..hahahha bagus kan Bapa :). and all the way back until I meet my family I heard people said this statement-"Ini Kali Lah"..and surprisingly my niece and nephew sang the "Ini Kali Lah' song hahha.

Well "Ini Kali Lah' is not just the famous statement for me but it was a memorable statement when this is my first time going for election-means my first voting as Malaysian yeah!. I am not really interested in politic but day by day as we prepare for the General Election a.k.a PRU13, Daddy slowly open my heart to get interested with politics..I mean for me my part is to pray for the candidates and the whole election to move smoothly.The "Ini Kali Lah' lyric "Kalau bukan kita siapa lagi?" actually reminded me about my roles as Malaysian. when Daddy put me in this country there must be a reason and responsibility to do and yeah this is our country-If other people from outside cared about Malaysia why can't we do the same for our own country ?bah Ini Kali Lah!so I guess I should named my weekend in Kudat "Ini Kali Lah" hahah

"Ini Kali Lah' statement also brought another special meaning for me personally where this statement is like an action of faith again for me to move to a new journey again. when Daddy said "Ini Kali Lah" its a called for me to trust Him for this journey and walk by faith :). We may not know what results we will get at the end of every journey we take today but remember this:

"Put GOD in charge of your work and what you've planned will take place"

(Proverbs 16:3,MSG)

Bha apa lagi Ini Kali Lah

Ini Kali Lah

For us to keep doing what we had started and finishing strong

For us to keep moving forward even thing gets harder

For us to keep believing that His plan for our future is always hope and the best

yeah Ini Kali lah!

5th May 2013-Ini Kali Lah-PRU13

One Step At A Time

His guidance never too early never too late

it includes

our dream

our prayer request

our needs

our relationship

He never rush in His steps

One step at a time

but He never fails to keep and fulfill His promises

So nothing to worry beloved...

One step at a time

Take it slow and continue stepping forward

In His guidance!

GRATITUDE

Botardi!

Yesterday we went to our new place where we will be staying there during our teaching practicum. My first impression when I first arrived was.."astaga..." so it means it wasn't that good kan.

Its actually an old building so you can imagine yourself how our house will look like right.With the dust inside I think its been century people stayed in that house. oh this Narnia very good in complaining..seems like I forgot how desperately I asked Daddy to give us place to stay. And now when He gave us one-what did I give Him in return-complaints! apuuu

With the poor condition of our new house honestly its hard to say THANK YOU DADDY for this house. Until this morning Daddy reminded me with this verse,yeah this is my life verse actually hahha

Philippians 4:11-13 (NLT)

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength"

With the indescribable condition of our new house here Daddy taught me about gratitude-to be grateful in everything I have-plenty or little.Tu la Narnia-bersyukur bah ko!Hahaha obrigada Daddy

View from my room..orang KL sudah \0/

..but still one thing I am happy for during my days here,this is the first time when I wake up every morning I will have this view from my room-KLCC hahahaha

Word of The Day: Gratitude

Our 2013

Whohaa... finally get the chance to write my first post for this year and yeah the last post for this month too hahah.. Well Happy New Year hahhaha and here it goes celebrating new year during exam is not good at all. It caused me to delay my full reflection of 2012. Plus I am too busy I guess much with unnecessary things (astaga!) which leads to nothing actually.

Yeah how does 2012 looks like for me..
2012 ia a year full with adventure. I get the chance to visit different places and for the first time landed Timor Leste-one of my mission country list \0/. Get to know new people too..plus met Isabella and Dream last year (happy!) and yeah my last year with my good sista-Chef Rein because she graduated..with many new things happened in 2012-OBRIGADA AMAN!

2013? Seriously I started quite well with our thanksgiving service in church then everything came back to normal for me because we were busy with my final exam in my campus..yeah no more exam ~~lalalalala~~
Not even one month I guess my first month of 2013 full with trash :( especially when it comes to my personal relationship with Daddy. Hard  moment actually..struggling with my flesh-harmful habits and at the same time Daddy is calling me for repentance and not only that at the other hand I was given new opportunity in our church ministry..Why is Daddy soo good to me?

So how am I going to continue my hopeless journey in 2013?? Thats why our God called as FORGIVING GOD-and that was what exactly Daddy did to me. Sometimes I did asked Him..why can't He just give up on me-the stubborn daughter. and Daddy gave me Hid simple answer- Because He Loves Me!- Its not only my second chances of being forgiven but I guess its countless chances huh?
Really its- AMAZING GRACE-Great sinner like me has been forgiven by Him again and again-Our Savior and Loving God!

2013..So since Daddy give me another chance to let Him repair what I have destroy earlier..nothing I can do other than carefully live out my 2013 journey in OBEDIENCE. Daddy gave me 2 Corinthians 5:7 as my 2013 theme:

"I Will Walk In Faith Even When I Cannot See"

2013 is a called to:

Trust Him even thing looks impossible

Obey Him even I can't understand

Look upon Him even I can't see Him

Serve Him faithfully in everything He entrusted me

 But as I sat back again looking at the theme Daddy gave me..I was thinking what makes me to trust Him even thing looks impossible? one thing came to my mind-RELATIONSHIP- ya exactly! for me to be ale to trust Him my 2013 is I need to really have deep relationship with Him! You see without knowing Him well how can I trust Him? wow I am in a relationship- with DADDY hahhaha.

So yeah since I am in a relationship with Daddy 2013 is not my journey alone but OUR JOURNEY :) Journeying and walking together in 2013. I know its not gonna be easy but as long as I hold on to Him-surely I will be able to go through it. Difficulties, mistakes and even trials may tempt me to turn away from Daddy but like what I always said-dont run away from God but run toward Him! I believe in positive side of all the difficulties , mistakes and trials in our life-they will stimulate the growth and maturity of our faith.

So beloved..come let us continue our journey in 2013 with our Master. Instead of us let Him the One who leads our journey.

Daddy..
I commit to You our 2013
Let this year be a year filled with Your miracles and
I know its gonna be unexpected journey but help me
Help me to walk in humbleness
Help me to live in holiness
Help me to carefully obey everything You ask me to
Guide me and lead me in Your Own way
In everything : my study, my future job, my family and friends, the ministry You entrusted me and my relationship too..
Hau Hadomi O Aman!

Agape,
Narnia

God Will Finish What He Has Started In My Life

"Instead of making one more plan, give your plans completely to Me, and let Me finish the work I started in you"

Interruption

"Let God Interrupt Your Life"

This is one thing that really stuck in my head after our Bible Exposition on the Gospel of Luke with Sis Annate last two weeks in PERKEB. Cool huh?

Interruption-I don't like it because it will effect everything I planned earlier. But how about God's interruption?How could that can happened? As I shared this morning during our morning prayer- Zachariah & Elisabeth and Joseph and Mary being interrupted by God with the news of the two baby boys birth in their family. Both are impossible like what we learnt during our training last Saturday with Sis Kim Cheng. Baby John and Baby Jesus both are miracle and God did it with the work of the Holy Spirit (Luke 1:1-38). But even though both are impossible-but God's interruption changes their lives and even ours! Not only that that's why we can celebrate Christmas until now- a great remembrance of Baby Jesus' birth in this world to save each of us.

How was the feel of being interrupted by God? For me- it messed up my plan-my own plan. That's why we can't rely on our own plan but rather His plan (padan muka hahha). At this age (I am getting older no!!!!)..I faced confusion-distraction until there is a moment where I really don't know what to do-in my future. I have the mission but to reach that point I am clueless-seriously! and God's interruption..Oh please I can't do that anymore and  I reached the point where I have no choice but to completely trusting Him.

I guess..I am sure- that is what Daddy wants from me-to fully surrender to Him-His plan-His guidance-my everything: Family-Future-Ministry-Relationship-Dream-Everything!

Just like what this song about..

Ini Aku Semua Miliku

Kuserahkan PadaMu Tuhan

Penyesalan Dan Kebanggaan

Suka Dan Duka Semua Ku Serahkan

Yang Telah Lalu Yang Kan Datang

Hasrat Dan Harapan Yang Terbayang

Masa Depan Dan Rencanaku

S'mua Ku Serahkan Dalam TanganMu

Ku Persembahkan Hidupku

KepadaMu Tuhan

Tuk' KemuliaanMu

Ku Berikan Hidup Ini

Sebagai Persembahan

Yang Berkenan PadaMu

Daddy,

I know without You I am nothing

Allowing You to interrupt my life isn't easy for me

But I want to

Help me to get through this

And really I want to finish well the race to set before me..

So yeah You have fully in charge of my life now and onwards..

Let my life be a living sacrifice before You

Hau Hadomi O Aman!

*Beloved..How about you? Would you dare to join me to allow God interrupting your life?

Daddy is Fully In Charge

Time flies super fast and without realizing now its already December..Yeah its December!!!! Its not just my most favorite month but its also a month where we celebrate Jesus' Birthday!!!! and not forgotten time for me to spend my Christmas with my big family :)

Last two weeks we had our CG in Bagan Lalang Resort..my first CG as Admin and really Daddy is soooo good for all His help especially with our worship team. All of us were first time joining CG as in worship team and really we were so nervous and scared on what to do at first. But then Daddy helps us and me myself saw how Daddy take in charge when we lean on Him :)

After CG we had our preparation for Christmas concert in my church..and again this year I in charge of the musical drama. It was quite hard from the beginning. Plus everyone was busy with exam and work so we couldn't get much practice until the day before the concert finally we had our first full rehearsal and it wasn't move smoothly and I was sooo worry what will happen during the concert itself. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was so worry plus I wasn't feel well that time but really this verse strengthens me,
"I love You, O LORD, my strength"-Psalm 18:1

I was so weak that time and kind of lost my hope especially with the drama..but Daddy's love really awakes me and He rise my spirit to just hold on to Him..and guess what..He really take in charge and me myself was so blessed with the drama! The team in drama musical did super good performance-congrats and big thank you team! Apart from that the most- I saw once again His miracle took place when we allowed Him to work and fully in charge.. THANK YOU DADDY!

So really this past two weeks I experience Daddy's faithfulness and miracle. His blessings are countless and it makes me to continue look upon Him for no matter what will happen. And really this song is just show my truly heart for Daddy..

Ajar Aku Tuhan

Jalan Dalam T'rangMu

B'rikanku Hati Yang Teguh

MengasihiMu

Ku Puji Kau Selama-lamanya

Seg'nap Hatiku Seg'nap Kuatku

Seg'nap Hidpku Ku S'rahkan PadaMu

Jadilah Sesuai K'hendakMu

Ajar Aku Yesus Tuhan

Teach Me Your Way O Lord

And I Walk In Your Truth

Give Me An Undivided Heart

That I May Fear Your Name

I Will Praise You Forever And Ever

With All Of My Heart With All Of My Strength

And All Of My Life I Offer To You Lord

Let You Will Be Done In My Life

Teach Your Way Teach Me Your Way

Amazing Grace:Loved and saved by Him

John 3: 16 (NLT)

"For God so loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life"

During our service today we sang the song Terlalu Besar by UX Band. Actually its consider new song for me since I never heard of this song before. The lyric was amazing!

TERLALU BESAR (UX BAND)

Telah kulihat bukti kasihMu

Kau menderita gantikanku

Dengan darahMu Kau s'lamatkanku

Kini ku hidup menyenangkanMu

Terlalu besar kasihMu Bapa

Pengorbanan yang Kau b'rikan bagiku

Terlalu mahal darahMu Yesus

Tercurah untuk menebus hidupku

Hidup yang Kau b'rikan bagiku

S'lamatkan dan pulihkanku

Lebih dari segalanya

As we sang it..for me its not just another new song but its really like Daddy's heart for me today. While we continue singing..one by one came to my mind like old film- what happened in my past until how I met Daddy and how He saved me-my journey before and after I met Daddy.

As I looked back what happened in my past and what am I now..one thing that I can say is GRACE. Really an AMAZING GRACE.

What I am now not because of my own strength but all because of His Grace. There is nothing I can proud about my self alone because without Him- I am nothing and useless!

Why?

Before I met Daddy I proclaimed my self as Christian in name and routine but actually I am wrong. Being a Christian does't mean we go church every Sunday..having cross with us all the time or even having a Bible. All those things don't make  us a Christian. Christian is not a religion but its about relationship-deep relationship with Jesus Christ who died for our sins-each of us no matter who you are.

Grown up in Christian family taught me about knowing God as our Saviour but it takes me 16 years until I received God as my Personal God and Saviour. Since that I started to follow God seriously plus during my upper secondary school we had Christian Fellowship named Agape Christian Fellowship. So basically from here I started to know God deeper.. involved in prayer meeting, start to do fast and pray and many more- things that I think its enough for my spiritual growth. 

After my Form five..everything changed drastically. From an ordinary little girl from small town in Sabah, I moved to Peninsular Malaysia. It was such big shocked for me-the food..language..culture and even the people. Seriously during our first year in college..I have to force my self to learn many things which I never learn before. So being far from family and most importantly my strong Godly community..my journey with Daddy stopped..not because of God gives up on me but I myself ran away from Him. I want to live my own life...still attending church that time but being honest its just another weekend activity for me..Sorry Daddy.

Two and a half years passed.. I graduated then start my job before continuing my study again. Yeah I get job and own money then I felt that I am now adult and I can do anything I want. But I thank God that during that time I didn't stay alone..I just can't imagine what are the worst thing I can do if I stay alone that time. I still keep on running away from God and I don't want Him to interrupt my life and my future..teruk kan Narnia!

Student life again..at first I don't like when I get into UKM during my first year because I know there is a Christian Fellowship (PERKEB) in UKM plus I don't have my good friend with me but then after 2 weeks of my registration Daddy brought her in haha. I just don't want to get involved in anything that related to God..I just felt I don't need Him in my life. Its like everything that I experienced-my sweet journey with Him- during my secondary school just a memory..forgotten memory. But Daddy wouldn't let me run anymore from Him.

UKM..here where I found God back in my life after two years I've been running away from Him. Through PERKEB and my family in SIB Kajang-God caught me until now.

AMAZING GRACE: Loved and Saved by Him

I think that would be the title of my journey with Daddy.

Why amazing grace..there is no good thing in me when I was far away from Daddy. I am nobody but a SINNER who claim His follower but live out a sinful life. There is no hope in me until God found me and caught me back not once but twice-to save me because He loves me sooo much.

So today..its was such great reminder for me when I sang the song "Terlalu Besar"..a reminder to stay close and hold on to God for no matter what will happened now or in the future. Because of His goodness and forgiveness to me I now choose to serve Him alone wherever He placed me. Sometimes as I look at how my friends live out their life..evil thought just came and say..

"In such a young age you can enjoy your life more instead of wasting your time with your so called God"

Does it affect me? YES! But I choose to continue look upon Him-My Daddy and Saviour.

There is no reason I want to waste my life with all the unimportant stuffs that the world try to offer me when at the other hand Daddy offers greater things for me.

I am alive now both physically and spiritually because of His grace and I don't want to take it for granted.

That is why everything I am doing now is all for Him alone. 

Life is short so live out your life wisely-don't waste your life!

Really life is short..so everything you do now will effect your eternity..it includes

Whom do you FOLLOW

*When I choose to follow Christ and accept Him as my Personal God and Saviour-my whole life changed..how about you?

What do you do

*What are the things and where do you invest your time, energy, money or even your life? Does it helps you to grow closer with God? 

Who do you mix with

*Having strong community in Christ really a good medium to help  you to stay closer with God to remind when we forget to watch out when we careless and to support when we fall down. Do you have one?

Everything I am now nothing I can boast because I know its all because of His grace..

Daddy..

Thank You...Big Thank You

For saving my life and bringing me until this stage..

For changing my life from nothing to something great..

For teaching me new things about life and people..

For being patient with me..

For always be with me..to love and to care for me.

Help me and guide me to live out the rest of my life-all out for You alone!

Narnia